Heroin Vaccine

Dr. Kim Janda at the Scripps Research Institute in La Jolla has been working tirelessly on an innovative heroin vaccine for the past 15 years it has been reported. I spoke with him today about human trials as I am ready to be signed up!

He said they hope to receive funding by the end of December to start trials next year! The vaccine attached itself to receptors in the brain and stops drugs like heroin from having effect on dopamine levels. Dopamine is the brains reward system which is why the battle against substance abuse is so difficult.

This is exciting news for all of us battling using drugs. Stay tuned for more news on this issue as I get it!

The Brain & Addiction

I have been pondering lately whether or not my brain issues came first or my substance abuse problems. I am curious what other people think on this issue! Ever since I can remember, I felt different, like I operated on a different frequency from other, 'normal' people.

What led me to believe this I wonder? Still, today, I have a hard time functioning at the 'normal' rate. I cant sleep, or I sleep too much. I can't eat, or I eat too much. I don't seem to feel joy, or I feel it too much. Seems the Bipolar 1 diagnosis maybe correct after all!

My mood today is strange. I am neither happy nor sad. I am tired as I did not have my sleep medication last night and I have terrible cravings to get high. Wanting to get high on any kind of substance (except weed, I don't do hard drugs, lol) is the one constant I can be sure of.

I'm not sure why, no matter how good or how bad I feel, I want to get high. I am simply not comfortable in my own skin. While I know this feeling will never pass, I wonder how I will live with it for the rest of my life.

The more healing I undergo, the more healing I need....the never ending circle of healing seems so trying and exhausting. Will there ever be any relief?

A Scar!

Last week after an MRI, a scar was found on the top left side of my brain. Most people who know me will not be surprised by this! I have suffered with some form of a mood disorder for most of my life. Being treated for Bipolar 1 seemed to have me stabilized up until recently when I simply could not shake my depression.

I slipped further and further down into a dark hole and attempted suicide at least 6 times within a 12 month period.

So what does this scar on my brain mean? An electrical 'malfunction' was also discovered in both temperal lobes and I am still snuggling to find out what both these diagnosis mean?